I was climbing an elephant's trunk until I reached the summit and coincidentally, puberty. There, I furiously masturbated until daybreak, when I realized: SHIT! I forgot my tissues on the mountaintop, where I blew loads of soup into the dark side of the moon, whichinfuriated Roger Waters and the whole thing exploded, leaving Pink Floyd without him. So sad. I cried tears of genuine puzzlement on the bright eyes of my lovely widow, who was cheating on me with a rogue sleeper agent , that slut. Meanwhile Back at the naval base, new heretics poured in molten tungsten on the guidance systemsand safety lectures which were held in my basement by an alien against his will. The alien was not the one who flies around changing the story to pornografic smut. He was of an ancient race residing in the arse of an old wrinkly curmudgeon whose name was Walter Fucking Smith. He explained that he was Klingon. And disappeared into wormhole going to wesley crushers ... ego where he found.

My thoughts stopped in an awkward mutual agreement with David J Stewart Which was strange considering that his homosexual neighbors were coming over tonight despite continual threats to spread joy And glitter across most of Iceland. And Zimbabwe. Meanwhile in russia, several Boring hobos met doing nothing interesting. They were interrupted by a small Silly helicopter, which flew into the golden Putin statue Screaming "shiiiiiit " as it emasculated him Which severly angered The pedophile priest Who was patrolling the kremlin that Our people built. That was before , this is after. Then there is whateverist, that commendable son of a IATIA, that everyone holds responsible for last night's incident in Norman's brothel. Now you probably want in, huh? But stories don't talk to people . But then what if they do? What if, for Example, it's aliens? That would rule! Nuh-uh! Metaphorically, though. But would it Satisfy our hero? We shall find Out in the next freaking chapter. Until then, let's Never speak about helicopters and putin. That would be Insensitive and hilariousin a more Is less way ...did I repeat Myself on that? Probably I did. How quaint. Anywho.

I wasn't thirsty but noone cared - So I rantowards the glowing Fucking Jesus and sucked his big Shiny, holy thumb until it shined Like a diamond which is shiny like a diamond. I had failed. How will I ever forget when My mom did those hockey teams? I vented by blowing semen out My nose was pissing me off While my penis was also pissing out of a misguided sense of direction. I threw random crap on Young Earth Creationists, making them looklike Belle, Sebastian, and the Wailers. After this remark, I decided to eat smegma cake and my prepuce fell off, strangely satisfactory to jewish hams. It landed on a crucifix under the sea with anemone fronds and Spongebob Squarepants . We were saved. Praise Jeebus, Hallelujah! We're going home! To New Zealand! Metaphorical, I think, is the best Cocksucker on the Whole damn island . That motherfucker can Suck cock like - while dog paddling - a vacuum cleaner . You skipped me. I am sorry. now start suckingon your thumb
like its yesterday's tomorrow's two days rainbow swirly lollipops.

Anyways. So there was a monkey a rabbi, andwith no semicolon ; a priest. They are on their periods all the emeffin time, so life's hard, eh? But it's okay I tell myself and I sing to my elbowwhich responds with funky rhythms of [an] African drum circle which is very weird. So incredibly distasteful. Maybe I should call Ginger she knows what's wrong with thisninja turtles costume. It's hideous. But the 4th wall has been broken. I, Exian, have missed an appointment with my gynecologist, Dr. Vagina Checker, last Thursday night it seemed possible because Katy Perry is to blame for my piles of cow shit in the elevator brown paper bags. When I arrived , cock in hand, hen in leg, short of breath, because.. Katy Perry , Dr. Checker said is a woman . Stupid me. Me not English good. Penis not woman. Now feel sad. Open wide, say dentist. Metaphorically speaking.

My English suddenly became incoherent and absolutely hilarious, so I switched to something new to impress everyone. I then proceeded to speak in fluent Espanol. Soy casa Te quiero, puta de queso, hoy A reba y tacos de cabeza Pero su madre Andele! Arriba! So ¿Porque hablamos español? chingar su perritoburrito, very caysadilluh. La pregunta es: esta el bano lugar para joder? Then I switched to french. Alors, to igpay atinlay.Enchfray Igpay Atinlay très sophisticaté indeed. iouxiouiioueauocB iouooòauiouxooTr.

Back to English. That was weird, but I regained consciousness while laying very still.